Sing song, see girls
Today my boss warned me about spies within the corporation and the government reading my blog, so of course I immediately felt compelled to blog.
Let's see... ok I'll start with how we terrorised the lone Christian at dinner last night.
F: I've seen with my own eyes this old man in a wheelchair, who didn't speak English, who didn't understand what was being prayed, what the prayer was for, stand up and start walking off the stage.
Sounds of incredulity around the table.
F: Well ok, it might have been a pact between him and the priest. It's between him and God to know.
SY: Ah, but did he walk home? Or did he take the bus?
Later...
S: Some of these kids who go to church really have no idea why they're going, you know. I was approached by a group of them once, and they were trying to preach to me. I asked them why do you go to church? And they said, "Sing song, see girls."
Y: Wow that's a great slogan! Sing song, see girls, love Jesus.
SY: Yeah, they should totally put that on a banner.
Later still...
F: It's against the law to proselytise to Muslims. They have special rights.
And then five minutes on...
F: Please feel free to say no, but I have these forms from my church...
Y: Ok I'm calling the police.
F: Ha! Ok feel free to say no. But you can fill up the form and write what you want us to pray for you for.
Y: I want money!
E: I want celebrity stardom!
We look at the form, which contains a checklist of things that you can ask for. These include things such as "financial freedom", "fulfilling relationships with friends and family", "intelligence". You were supposed to check the things you wanted, so that the church could pray that you get them.
Y: Oh my god, there's an option for Eternal Life! This form rocks!
E: We don't need intelligence, right? We're already intelligent.
Y: Yeah, and I have enough friends... I really just want money.
E: And I want to be famous.
F looks on in resignation. Eventually only S fills out the form, writing to the Baptists of Singapore, "I want fame and fortune."